On Trust & Gratitude
A trusted someone and my own internal voice told me, “Have faith in yourself. Have faith in the universe.”
A few weeks ago I stepped out of my comfort zone. My attempt at bravery actually started further back when I decided to go after a co-hosting gig for a poetry podcast. I had applied alone, assuming I’d be matched with someone, if I landed the opportunity. Later, I learned, as I progressed past the interview stage, that I would have to find my own partner in poetic misdemeanor. This threw me for a loop. Already I was branching out into foreign territory, challenging myself to put my voice further out into the ether and experimenting with audio storytelling. But someone I trust encouraged me to challenge myself even more. Post an ad, they said. Put the word out on social media, tag people you want to talk to and create with in real life.
As someone prone to introversion and solo imagination, I was anxious at the thought of 1) exposure — others knowing about the opportunity before it was even mine; 2) failure — an awkward exchange, the absence of chemistry, the possibility of hurt or sour feelings, or a million other things that could go wrong. I took heed though, listening to that trusted someone and my own internal voice that said, “Have faith in yourself. Have faith in the universe.”
A few weeks and one quirky post later, I was grateful to find my podcast person. Meet Faylita Hicks (she/they).
Faylita and I first met at a conference in 2019. We reconnected the following year when I interviewed her for The Rumpus about Hoodwitch, her debut collection of poetry. More recently, she and I have discovered even more common ground, like our interest in experimenting with docu-poetry, our love of astrology, affirmations and all things witchy. But what I appreciate most about Faylita is that her voice and experience is so different from my own.
Together, we teamed up to record a pilot episode for the podcast. We interviewed the beautifully courageous Nathan A. Moore (she/they), whose debut poetry chapbook small colossus came out this year. Nathan was kind enough to read a couple of poems from their collection. The three of us also talked about identity and claiming space, about the fluidity of Black femininity and the problem of visibility. We also played a couple of “litty” games featuring a few of our favorite authors, titles and random duos.
In the process of choosing Faylita to be my co-host I also got the chance to connect with a handful of talented and generous artists to whom I want to express my gratitude and shout out here.
Nesima Aberra (she/her) is a writer, digital strategist and curator. She and I have more than a few literary relatives in common. We bonded over our love of Lucille Clifton (for her, “simplicity and attention to detail,” says Nesima). We both also grew up reading the poems of Shel Silverstein and claim him as our uncle.
Dwayne Lawson-Brown (they/he) has been practicing and performing spoken word for over 20 years. He hosts a number of live shows and daringly takes the mic to challenge himself and others to share their words. Dwayne’s dedication is inspiring. They expressed that writing is the “only thing that makes sense to me.”
Additional thanks and honorable mentions go out to fellow writers Paul Mendez and jessica / jiexi yuru zhou.
In the end (or the beginning?), the whole co-host search was an adventure, an exercise in creative vulnerability. And, though, I’m not sure what the outcome of this not-so-secret mission will be, the process was rewarding. I’m also proud of the completed project (which I may be brave enough to share in the future). The most important thing is that now that the effort and energy has been exerted, I can stand back and watch the Universe work …
Since the process captured my attention I can’t wait to test the outcome. Good luck to both of you.